dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
