You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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