i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
