i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
