God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize