it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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