maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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