I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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