Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
