Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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