i just snorted my name. best moment ever
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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