im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize