ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
