I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
