he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
