I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
