Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
