I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
