When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
