Moan for me like Helen Keller
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
