i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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