If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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