you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We need to get me chipped asap
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
