dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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