i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize