scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
