I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize