yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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