WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
