oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i've created a new STD.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
