the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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