Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
