Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
