how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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