dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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