I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
