Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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