I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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