I feel like abortions should bother me more
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize