super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
