I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
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