I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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