He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
