I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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