8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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