Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
