is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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