WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my shit smells like andre
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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