I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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