can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
