sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My first STD was from a foam party
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
