The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
