all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
