if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
