we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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