Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
