i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
